A Love Story Told by the Sun and Moon: Celebrating 17 Years of Marriage

by Richard Valdez - www.RichardValdezRE.com

Seventeen years ago, I stood across from the man I loved. Hands slightly shaking, heart pounding like it knew what was coming long before my mind did. We said our vows. Signed the papers. Took the leap into a life we hadn’t lived yet.

That was the beginning of what would become our 17-year LGBTQ+ marriage — a journey built on faith, friendship, dogs, real estate, and the kind of love that keeps evolving with time.

And somewhere along this journey, I came across a quote that still stops me in my tracks:

“The sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe.”

I read it once. Then again. And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Because real love — the kind that lasts for 17 anniversaries and still has room to grow — teaches you something about what that kind of sacrifice and devotion really means.

What 17 Years of Marriage Teaches You About Love

When you’ve been together for nearly two decades, you learn a few things. You learn that love isn’t always candlelit dinners and photo-worthy vacations. Sometimes, it’s choosing to be kind when you’d rather be right. Sometimes, it’s folding the laundry, picking up dog poop, or being the one who apologizes first.

You learn how to take turns being the sun and take turns being the moon.

You lead and follow.
Shine and reflect.
Lift and be lifted.

I’ve seen my husband be my sun — carrying me through burnout, heartbreak, uncertainty — always shining without asking for recognition.

And I’ve tried to be his moon — holding space for his dreams, giving him room to breathe, and reflecting back all the light he pours into our world.

From Twin Peaks to Two Homes: A Real San Francisco Love Story

We’ve built our life here in San Francisco, a city that matches us in complexity, creativity, and character. Over 17 years, we’ve shared two homes, built a life with four dogs (all male, all very opinionated), and held each other through seasons of celebration and struggle.

We’ve survived rising mortgage payments, fallen deals, fog thicker than my grandmother’s adobo, and a global pandemic. And through it all, we never stopped choosing each other.

This is what long-term love really looks like — and what a healthy gay marriage can be.

The Power of Showing Up — Every Day, Every Night

This quote — “The sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe” — it hits differently after 17 years.

Because you realize that love isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s silent. Sometimes it looks like stepping back, so the other can shine. Sometimes it’s being the steady presence in the background, making space.

Real love is letting your partner breathe.
Real love is dying a little to your ego, your pride, your expectations — because the relationship matters more.

Celebrating Our 17th Wedding Anniversary With Gratitude

Seventeen years. That’s 204 months of shared life. Thousands of memories. Hundreds of coffee-fueled conversations at midnight. Dozens of open houses, contracts, and Sunday strolls through neighborhoods we once only dreamed of living in.

But more than anything — it's 17 years of choosing love. Not just on the good days, but especially on the hard ones.

As I reflect on this anniversary, I know one thing:

If I’m the sun, he’s my moon.
If he’s the sun, I’m proud to be his moon.
And we’ve taken turns for 17 years.

Tonight, as the sun sets over Twin Peaks, and the fog hugs the city like a blessing, I’m reminded that this kind of love isn’t always easy — but it’s always worth it.

To My Husband — My Moon, My Light, My Constant

You’ve given me space to grow, room to breathe, and love that doesn’t demand anything but honesty.

You’ve taught me that the brightest love doesn’t always shine — sometimes, it glows quietly in the dark.

Here’s to 17 years of marriage.
To two men who built a life in one of the most beautiful (and expensive) cities in the world.
To the home we’ve made, the family we’ve built — and the rhythm we’ve found in taking turns shining.

Happy anniversary, love.
Let’s keep orbiting.
Let’s keep breathing.
Let’s keep choosing each other — every day, every night.