Who Needs a Sugar Daddy When You’ve Got a Retirement Property with ROI?
By Richard Valdez — www.richardvaldezre.com
I was sipping a turmeric oat latte in the Mission, my Shih Tzu, Disco, snoring under the table, when it hit me: retirement is basically dating again, only instead of searching for the perfect man, I’m searching for the perfect zip code.
And somewhere between scrolling Zillow and dodging another tech bro on an electric scooter, I found myself falling—hard—for a place called Cebu Monterazzas.
Now, I’ve never met Monterazzas in person. We haven’t had a face-to-face, no lingering glances across a misty terrace, no flirty banter over real estate brochures. But thanks to Mont Group’s very polished online presence—and my borderline obsessive scrolling—I’ve caught serious feelings. And baby, they might just be mutual.
1. Looks, Brains, and a Flexible Payment Plan
Cebu Monterazzas isn’t just another pretty face—it’s giving Modern Filipino Architectural Realness. These homes are designed with sleek lines, smart layouts, and an energy that says, “Yes, you can live here and host Sunday brunches where your friends cry over how beautiful the view is.”
Add in convenient access to schools, hospitals, and shopping centers, and suddenly, I’m thinking: this place gets me. It understands that while I love a stunning façade, I need a partner who’s reliable, affordable, and emotionally available.
2. A Long-Term Relationship with ROI
In San Francisco, we measure time by rent hikes and startup IPOs. But in Cebu? Monterazzas seems to be the quiet, promising type—the one who doesn't need to scream “I’m the next hot thing” because their property value speaks for itself.
As someone who’s part romantic and part realist (a dangerous combo), the idea of retiring somewhere with investment potential feels like marrying for love and a 401(k). Isn’t that what all gays want? A future you can toast to—with rosé and equity.
3. The Community That Understands the Assignment
Let me paint a picture: lush parks, playgrounds, friendly neighbors, 24/7 security, and wide-open spaces where your dogs can live their best leash-free life. Monterazzas is like the Castro, but with more nature and fewer rainbow crosswalks.
And for a man who plans to retire with his husband and a small herd of fur children, that matters. I’m not just chasing sunsets—I’m chasing peace, pets, and a place where I don’t have to explain why my dogs have Instagram accounts.
4. The Blog That Helped Me Swipe Right on Retirement
Now, if you're thinking, “Who is this man waxing poetic about gated communities in the Philippines?”—hi, I’m Richard, and I run www.richardvaldezre.com, a digital diary-slash-resource for OFWs, expats, and anyone else trying to figure out where to hang their designer hat after 65.
I’m not a licensed agent in the Philippines yet. I’m just a guy with a passion for property, a love for storytelling, and a deeply personal mission to help people like me find their forever place—even if it’s 7,000 miles and a timezone away.
And Just Like That...
While I haven’t walked the grounds of Cebu Monterazzas just yet, I’ve walked through its promise. And darling, it’s a promise I want to believe in.
Maybe retirement isn’t about slowing down. Maybe it’s about finally curating the life you were too busy working for before. A home that feels like you. A place that hugs your soul. A view that reminds you every morning: You did it. You made it.
And so I couldn’t help but wonder…
Is Monterazzas not just a real estate development, but the one I’ve been waiting for all along?
Still swiping through retirement options?
Join me (and Disco) at www.richardvaldezre.com, where we spill the tea on tropical properties, rising markets, and why it's never too late to fall in love—with a new life, a new home, or, hell, even a new you.
Receipts: The Real Estate Receipts
Mont Group’s videos + online brochures (search “Cebu Monterazzas” on YouTube—you’ll see what I mean)
Cebu real estate trends via Lamudi, DotProperty, Property24
Community reviews from Expat.com, Pinoy forums, and every OFW blog I could stalk without shame
If you need someone to help you visualize it—well, you know where to find me. 🥂
xoxo,
Richard
