What Scented Candles Can Teach Us About Life, Aging, and Finding Our Voice

“Fragrance and the City”

by Richard Valdez - www.richardvaldezre.com

Scented candles. So many fragrances, so little time.

There are the classics—the Lavenders, the Lemon Verbenas, the Mints and Roses of the world. Timeless, dependable, elegant. The kind of scents that slip into a room, whisper their presence, and somehow leave you remembering them long after they've burned out.

Then there are the scene-stealers. Gardenia. Leather. Coffee. The ones who arrive unapologetically late to the party, wearing red lipstick and making no excuses. They don’t ask for attention—they command it.

And just when you think you’ve smelled it all, along comes a pairing so unexpected it stops you mid-sniff. Tobacco and vanilla. Sea salt and sage. Fig and black pepper. You’d never imagine they’d get along, and yet, somehow… they dance. Beautifully. Bold meets subtle, loud meets quiet. And in that collision, something magical happens.

In our family, lighting a candle has become a sacred ritual. A small act of intention before we settle into a room. We light the flame, let the scent unfold, and suddenly the air shifts. We unwind. We reflect. We breathe in more than fragrance—we breathe in possibility.

And it made me wonder… what if scented candles are like people at a party?

The classic ones are polite guests—they don’t speak unless they have something thoughtful to say. They're not here to dominate the room, just to enhance it.

The bold ones? They light up conversations like matches. They are fierce, opinionated, and passionate about what they love—and they’ll tell you, whether you’re ready or not.

And then there are the blends. The unexpected combinations that, against all odds, work. They don’t compete. They complement. Each one brings out the best in the other, simply by sharing the space with respect and presence.

At 60, I’ve lived through every fragrance phase of my life. I’ve been the quiet scent in the corner—observant, reserved, never overpowering. I’ve also stepped into bolder notes—opinionated, curious, aware. And now? I think I’m somewhere in between. A custom blend. A mix of classic and daring, subtle and strong.

I know where I stand—in my beliefs, in my community, in my heart. And I’ve learned that life is less about standing out, and more about blending in harmoniously, adding your scent to the room without stifling anyone else's.

Because in the end, we’re all just trying to find our space in the room... and leave behind a fragrance worth remembering.